Giving Caesar His Due

Grar

2006-12-17T10:40:00.000-08:00

On a seperate note, the media really needs to stop saying that this politician or another made a "surprise" visit to Iraq. Nobody makes scheduled visits to Iraq because it's full of angry people with bombs. We get that. It's not like the politician was surprised. It's not as though Blair wakes up one morning on RFA One and goes "Oh shit, where are we?!"

Reading Lermontov

2006-10-02T16:11:00.000-07:00

"And, besides, what are the joys and sorrows of mankind to me - me, a travelling officer, and one, moreover, with an order for post-horses on Government business?"
- A Hero of Our Time

Moscow is win

2006-07-30T12:22:00.000-07:00

Location update for anyone concerned. Have relocated to Moscow to work an internship with Prioritel, a telecommunications company. Good people.

On Friday, I had an interview with McKinsey and Co., a big A1 worldwide business consulting firm about the prospect of earning gainful employment with them after I graduate Midd. Turns out they have a very rigorous and vaguely secretive screening process. The entire company is slightly opaque, for that matter. Nonetheless, excellent opportunity and an exciting prospect for the future.

This weekend was spent visiting Yaroslavl, to catch up with friends and such.

Other news in the life to be posted shortly.

I'm kidding, really

2006-06-30T04:48:00.000-07:00

"The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence... sort of like the Post Office with tanks."
- Emo Philips

Tbilisi, Day 3

2006-06-27T00:20:00.000-07:00

My property is no longer irregular, having, to my great relief, arrived on Sunday from Frankfurt.

Spent Sunday walking around the city and seeing a few local highlights with Sharad, an Indian software engineer on vacation. It's really damn hot here, getting around 90 in the afternoons.

Posting now from the GFSIS computer lab on Chitadze Street, a stone's throw from the Italian embassy, the Ministry of Internal Affairs and a half-dozen other bureaus of this and that and the other thing. Tomorrow is to be a visit from the Armenian Minister of Foreign Affairs. It looks to be an interesting four weeks.

Georgians, with their olive skin and aquiline noses, have surprised me as being very identifiable as an ethnic group. I'll be honest and say that, to me, everyone kind of looks the same, as though all are distant cousins. The folks with Russian or European blood tend to stand out. Walking down the street, standing on the subway, I've never felt so keenly aware of my being a foreigner. At least in Yaroslavl or Moscow I could sometimes pass for a Russian until I opened my mouth. I can't be certain of how obviously other I look here, but I'd be willing to wager that nobody is going to mistake me for a gruzin anytime, well, ever.

Also, all the road signs and metro placards are in the Georgian alphabet, which makes navigation a little more difficult than I would like. On the upside, pretty much everyone speaks Russian and people have been very helpful with directions. The subway over here is like a budget version of the Moscow metro, with two lines, twenty one stations and the exact same cars.

I spent much of yesterday reading up on recent events and an economic report. I'll confess to being surprised. Despite "very promising" economic indicators, the fact is that Georgia is...developing. Developing as in 41% infant mortality rate, developing. Georgia was one of the Soviet satellites hit hardest by the fall of the Evil Empire, and GDP per capita is still half of what it was in 1990. This isn't obvious from walking a few days around the streets of Tbilisi. I wonder if somebody who hasn't spent the past year in Yaroslavl might take more notice of the beggars, broken windows, and security guards- all situated next to the swanky boutiques, new construction, and public fountains. Of course, this is the capital, and therefore undoubtedly much better situated. Perhaps more surprising, though, is the reported success of Georgia's "Rose Revolution." 30,000 civil servants were laid off, corruption significantly reduced, the police force overhauled, business licensing and the tax code simplified. A long way to go before joining the EU, but nonetheless impressive movement in that direction.

Back to the Blogg

2006-06-25T01:09:00.000-07:00

And so, more than 3 months later, I've come back to Caesar.

Writing you from Prospero's Books, just off of Rustaveli Avenue in the scenic city of Tbilisi, Republic of Georgia, I find myself several thousand miles from home without my luggage. Somewhere along the line, possibly from LAX or Cincinnati or Amsterdam, it got lost or misdirected. Or, as the official documentation reports it, I have suffered a "Propery Irregularity." In any case, hopefully the irregularity will correct itself and my property will soon become regular again.

Not much else to report for the moment. Homestay seems to be fine, with retired fire inspector Vazha and his wife Marina as my hosts. The city itself is nice. With little over a million folks, it's a great deal less intimidating than comparable Russian cities. Monday I start work with the Georgian Foundation for Strategic International Studies (GFSIS).

In other news, Middlebury still hasn't posted my grades from last semester. I'm not too worried, as I've a fairly good idea of what my grades were anyway. Nonetheless, the lack of official confirmation is unsettling.

For further summer plans, I'll be transferring to Moscow on the 22nd of July, to start an internship with Prioritel. For the weekend of August 25th, I go to Penny Arcade Expo (PAX), nerd extravaganza in Bellevue, Washington with the inimitable sirs Grayson and Betts. Followed soon after by general carousing in Kalispell, Montana with others near and dear. (Well, far- at the moment, as the case may be.)

This is DJ RedScare, signing off for now. There's an Indian tourist who I just met that I'm gonna go have coffee with.

"Announcing your plans is a good way to hear God laugh."

2006-03-12T01:11:00.000-08:00

Got my class schedule finally settled:
Russian Grammar (Middlebury)
20th Century Literature (Middlebury)
Risks in Economics (mainstream)
Globalization (mainstream)- evening section
Russian War Memoirs (mainstream)

Between 11-15+ class hours/week, depending on the week (Literature and Globalization have additional classes on alternate Mondays and Thursdays, respectively.) More if the professors actually get around to scheduling discussion sections.

Also bought train tickets to go to Volgograd with two other students for our Spring Break at the end of the month. I'm rather excited about this. Made a hotel reservation as well, but I need to confirm it by sending a fax to the hotel. Bothersome. Train tickets there and back came out to about $70. 19 hour trip from Moscow to Volgograd. (And that's the fast train.)

And then...

2006-03-02T14:20:00.000-08:00

It started snowing again.

-Sigh-

Hurrah for Thaw!

2006-03-01T12:11:00.000-08:00

Today was the first day of spring! Huzzah!

Sweet Sweet Success

2006-02-27T12:26:00.000-08:00

Baked a mess of delicious Tollhouse-recipe chocolate chip cookies today. Hurrah! Found the brown sugar last night. I got a little overexcited and bought 8 lbs of it, for fear I wouldn't be able to find it again. Still surprised and gratified the cookies came out so well, considering we had to convert the recipe to metric, and use unfamiliar ingredients, such as powdered vanillin instead of vanilla extract, and chop up bars of dark chocolate ourselves instead of using semi-sweet chips.

For those of you who might not appreciate how awesome this is, I'd like to point out that chocolate chip cookies are nowhere to be found in Russia. Plenty of cookies, certainly, and fairly tasty at that, just nothing that comes in the good ol' American "chocolate chip" variety. A little piece of home abroad.

Progress!

2006-02-25T03:45:00.000-08:00

So, the weather has warmed up a bit. Temperature has been floating somewhere around 20 F (-6 C) for the past two weeks or so. Which means we've been more snow and less sun, but at least it's nice to be able to wear a t-shirt in the apartment.

This, apparently, is a cue for half the city to start the lengthy process of de-icing the sidewalks and de-snowing the roofs. Now, before I came to Russia, one of the Yaroslavl students from '04-'05 told me about chipping ice off the sidewalks, but I didn't quite comprehend just quite how much ice has built up over the winter. On any given pedestrian walkway, there's probably a good three to four inches of pure ice, following by another two to three inches of hard-packed snow. The preferred removal method is hacking at it with long-handled spades and then piling the chunks off to the side. Maybe I'll post a picture when I upload some photos later.

Thursday was "Defender of the Fatherland" Day, also known as "Armed Forces Day" but most commonly known as "Men's Day." I got a card with tanks and aircraft carriers on it! (And the girlfriend got me chocolate and shower gel...it's kind of a confusing holiday.) Here's the fun part: Thursday was a holiday. So they made it a three day weekend...by giving everyone Thursday, Friday, and Saturday off, but having Friday's classes on Sunday. In the States, the idea of a Saturday-Sunday weekend is almost sacred. Not so here, where some classes are regularly held on Saturdays.

Speaking of classes, still haven't quite figured out my class schedule yet. The situation is that I can take classes both with the Middlebury program and in the regular university. So far I've settled on taking Grammar (mandatory) and Literature (because the teacher is awesome, and it'll be good for my vocabulary) in the Middlebury program. In the main university, I'll be taking "Russian War Memoirs" and then I'm considering "Sociology of Religion," "History of the Middle Ages" and "Globalization." Most of the other students look at me like I'm crazy for wanting to take three university classes, but the way I look at it there aren't many reasons not to. For one, I'd say my comprehension of the lectures I've sat in on so far is about 75% and it's probably better practice for my listening skills. In terms of class hours and workload, they're going to equate to just about the same as if I were taking the courses with Middlebury, and on top of that, I get a chance to be out of the Int'l students classroom (where I had ALL of my classes last semester) and meet more Russian students.

The rest of the Middlebury group left yesterday to take a week-long trip to Kazan (a regional capital about 20 hours east of Moscow). I decided to stay behind so I could relax, get some stuff done and visit St. Petersburg again.

I've been able to find a decent amount of produce (fresh and frozen) around town, but I'm still having difficulty locating certain 'Western' items like brown sugar and vanilla. (They have powdered vanillin. Powdered! Gah!) Still waiting for a chance to go to Metro (the Costco + Home Depot supermart in town) to buy cheddar, tortilla chips and other import goods. Which reminds me, I need to go shopping.

Back to Old Country

2006-02-05T10:47:00.000-08:00

So! Back in Yaroslavl, once again.

Frigid cold? Check.
Silly hats? Check.
Trouble finding a working ATM? Check.

The apartment is a bit chilly. I've taped up all the windows to deter the draft, but -20 C weather is not so easily foiled. I might have to start running the hot water and turning the stove on for extra warmth. Either that or start drinking regularly. (100 grams for every ailment!) Luckily for me, utilities are cheap here (and paid by the landlady, incidentally.)

Quite happily, I have discovered a way to connect to the internet from my apartment through dialup and phone cards. Reasonable rates, 56k and one less reason to go outside.

Walking down the street, I was inspired to write the following line:
"Russia has no need of royalty, for on every frozen street corner and common bus stop stand nearly half a dozen snow princesses, supremely regal with their fur coats and icy stares."

Classes start tomorrow. Wish me luck!

Pass the Wand

2006-01-03T22:42:00.000-08:00

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire- It's Harry Potter, therefore it is awesome. Voldemort is awesome. Snape is awesome. The new Dumbledore is a different spin, slightly disruptive of continuity. Overall, it does a good job of squeezing a coherent film from a huge tome. They had to take shortcuts, but they were well done, all considered.

Chronicles of Narnia- If you can get beyond the cloying Disney values orienteering, and the pungent odor of frankencense and myrrh, it's not a bad film, especially if you've got a thing for talking animals and the like. Sadly lacking in any substantial
conflict, but it's a PG-rated Lord of the Rings with Christian overtones, so I suppose it'd be unfair to expect much thought of it.

Have started playing World of Warcraft, which I've been wanting to do for a while. I don't plan on getting in too deep, don't have the time or opportunity for that, since the only computer that can run it is here at home. Still, I've got low-level Horde characters on Kirin Tor and Bonechewer. A fun guild or some folks to run quests with would be sweet.

Updatery

2005-12-25T05:42:00.000-08:00

First week back in the States:
- Have eaten pie; apple and pumpkin. Delicious. Will require more pie rations in immediate future.
- Have spoken on phone with several of close friends, now that I'm not 8 to 11 time zones away. Quite glad of that.
- Saw a Broadway musical I can really enjoy: Avenue Q. I could have done without the puppet sex, but that might have been because I saw it with my parents.
- Italian food. And also Cuban.
- Discovered the joy of Girl Genius Radio Theater. New episodes every week! http://girlgeniusonline.com/radio/radio.php

Unsatisfactory:
- Still have terrible cold, acquired shortly before I left Russia. Symptoms have expanded to include mild fever, soar throat, stiffness, chills, and the terrible urge to sing Ave Maria at inappropriate times.
- Have still not seen fourth Harry Potter movie, or Chronicles of Narnia film. Shameful.
- Must visit Jamba Juice. Have not had Chinese, Mexican, sushi or a fancy sandwich.
- Need more sunshine.

In other news:

- Have discovered spectacular performer by the name of Dr. Steel. Mad science, music and puppetry. He's performing in Hollywood on the 26th of January. Anybody want to go with me? Tickets are $14, +$6 or a 2 drink minimum, depending on age. www.doctorsteel.com

- New Year's plans: tricky, as regards to venue for celebration and gathering of peoples. Suggestions?

- Have resolved to investigate possible summer programs in Cuba, as means of legally visiting country before Castro kicks it and country becomes giant resort/casino complex for American tourists. Also to brush up on el Spanish.

- Will be returning to the Russias at the end of January. Will also be visiting Middlebury sometime in early to mid January, to see friends who will be graduating/going abroad next year. No specific plans yet.

Halfway to Home

2005-12-17T22:37:00.000-08:00

After 28 hours of sitting in planes, automobiles and airport lobbies, I have finally arrived at my aunt and uncle's house in Chappaqua, New York.

400 lb Rorschach

2005-12-11T11:32:00.000-08:00

Expensive modern art prints painted by gorrillas. I'm not sure whether to applaud or spit. http://www.koko.org/friends/kokomart_art.koko.html#

A Birthday...BEYOND THE URALS!

2005-11-29T01:45:00.000-08:00

I feel kind of silly now, because it seems like everytime I've made a post recently, I mention that the weather is getting just a little bit worse and that Winter's gonna come barreling around the corner any minute now and finally deliver all those heinous atmospheric conditions that everyone keeps warning me/sympathizing with me about. Right now it's nearly +5C (roughly 40F) and a little sunny. All the snow's melted. I can, at least, take a certain glee in the fact that, for some inexplicable reason, we've got better weather than Vermont.

Ah! So yesterday was my birthday. A very sincere thank you to all of the people that wished me a Happy Birthday through e-mail and the Facebook. So, 21 years on the planet that makes it. I'm far from the first person to make this observation, but I can't quite help but boggle at the American legal arrangement that deems it wise to allow youths such as myself their first opportunity to purchase both a 5 liter handle of Jose Cuervo and a 9mm Glock on the same day.

Not really, of course, at least not in California. After all, there's a waiting period before you get to take the handgun home.

Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. It's not quite the same when nearly everyone else around you isn't really sure what a turkey is, has never heard of a yam and is horrified at the concept of pumpkin pie.

"So today is your 'Day of Thanks' right?"
"Yep."
"So, who do you give thanks to?"
"Eh?"
"It's a 'Day of Thanks', right? Who do you thank?"
"Oh, well, no one in particular. It's just a sort of general thanking, I suppose."

Art as Infection, II

2005-11-22T02:42:00.000-08:00

Statue of David elicits temporary insanity in viewers, especially Americans. Italians and Japanese immune.

http://dsc.discovery.com/news/briefs/20051114/davideffect_hum.html

3:45 Twilight

2005-11-17T04:48:00.000-08:00

It's 3:45 and quite dim outside. Not dark, per se. Just dim. Very dim. Also, it's started snowing a bit again. According to the hostess, winter should start tromping about in earnest within the week.

A new literary magazine "The Relevance" has been founded at Middlebury this year. Middlebury already features a number of journals with various themes, published on erratic schedules, but this one is the first to publish online as well as (I presume) on paper. This speaks to certain amount of successful leadership and initiatve, if nothing else. They are also shameless enough to spam the entire student body with a link to the site. Student writing is generally a very hit-or-miss exercise, but there's one short piece by Rachel Austin titled "Win/Lose" which I thought was, well, relevant. It offers a nice addendum to my thoughts on the college hookup culture, with a more artistic perspective. It can be read here: http://community.middlebury.edu/~relevance/Page_8.htm

I Swear This Conversation Happened

2005-11-13T09:33:00.000-08:00

[In Russian]
Anna's mother: "And here's the mayonnaise and vegetable salad, and here's stuffed cabbage..." -dolops mayonnaise onto stuffed cabbage- "Eat!"
Me: "Er, thank you!"
{Later, after eating a very filling portion of salad and stuffed cabbage.}
Anna's mother: "Would you like some liver and pasta?"
Me: "Well, no thank you..."
Anna's mother: "You don't like liver?"
Me: "No, I don't like liver."
Anna's mother: "Well, that's okay, you can try some anyway. Would you like some homemade wine? Maybe some compote?" -Serves dish of liver and pasta-
Me: "Um, compote, please."
Anna's mother: "Anna, go get the compote."
Anna: "Where is it?"
Anna's mother: "In the cabinet in the hallway, where we always keep the compote."
Anna: "Grumble, grumble, grumble." -Anna goes and gets the compote. I nibble at the liver and pasta. Anna's mother answers the phone and then comes back a few minutes later, serves me a glass of compote-
Anna's mother: "I see you haven't eaten the liver, did you not like it?"
Me: "Well, not very much."
Anna's mother: "That's okay. Here, have some stag meat. My husband went hunting for this yesterday."
Me, on the verge of exploding: "No, thank you, really, I'm full. Everything's delicious, but I've had enough." -She serves me two strips of stag meat anyway-
Anna's mother: "You haven't eaten anything! Here! Have another stuffed cabbage." -she turns away towards the stove. I make desperate waving motions to Anna to try and get her to save me from death by hospitality.-
Anna: "Mom, he's eaten enough, he's full."
Anna's mother: "Nonsense! A man should eat more!" -serves me another stuffed cabbage-
Me: "Gurgle."
Anna's mother: "I'm going to make some smoked salmon sandwichs [Note: by sandwich, I mean a slice of bread, slathered in butter, with a slice of smoked salmon on top]. Would you like one? It's very good fish."
Me: "No, please."
Anna's mother: "What do you mean, no? Here, have one."
Me, distressed: "Do I have a choice?"
Anna's mother: "No."
-I look over to Anna in desperation. She just grins at me.-
Me, resigned: "Yes, please. Thank you."
{Later}
Anna's mother: "You barely ate anything!"
Me, flabbergasted: "..."

Echoes in Red

2005-11-08T01:57:00.000-08:00

Back from vacationing in Moscow and St. Petersburg.

Well, the good news is that winter was just teasing. We're back to our regularly scheduled fall weathering, which is to say overcast and drizzly, with an extra helping of gloom.

Yesterday was November 7th, the 88th anniversary of the Great October Revolution. It's no longer an official holiday in Russia, as it once was, but was changed under Yeltsin to the Day of Remembrance and Accordance. Just this past year, the Putin administration invented a new holiday on November 4th, Day of Unity of Peoples, ostensibly celebrating when the Russians kicked the Poles out some 300 years ago#. Russians are alternately either confused, indifferent, ambivalent or indignant about this turn of events. But one thing's for certain, it didn't stop the communists from marching yesterday. Quite easily the most interesting thing that's happened in Yaroslavl for a while.

Posters and flyers across town announced there was going to be a demonstration. Now the Middlebury Abroad administration strongly advises us foreign students (especially Americans) against attending any sort of political rally, but I didn't come to Russia for the cooking. So myself and another student from Nebraska showed up to watch the rally. According to the local news, 800 people participated in the march. There were red flags, red ribbons, a few pictures of Lenin (one fellow had a picture of Stalin around his neck), banners that read like "The work of Lenin will live on!" and even a small marching band leading the way. A fairly strong police presence made a showing, with quite a few officers present along the street, and several cars trailing the march. It's unlikely that anything could have happened though, as every single one of the marchers, with the exception of a dozen individuals, appeared to be over 60. The youths were part of a local radical movement called "Limonka"* who fancied themselves the new Bolsheviks. They were the only ones who bothered chanting. In contrast to the hoarse yelling and flare-waving of the youths in armbands, the silence of the crowd around them made the march seem more like a commemoration parade, a time for the old folks to get together and wax nostalgic about the Bad Old Days. Maybe a dirge would have been more faithful to the character of the event. At the end of the march, there was a rally in the center of town where there were speeches and a few feeble "hurrahs" from the aged crowd. It got pretty dull at that point, so we just nipped off for some doughnuts and cocoa about 10 minutes into the speeching.

Unfortunately, none of the pictures my friend took came out, but he might put a few short clips up eventually. In the meantime, there are pictures from a local soccer game, Yaroslavl Shinnik vs. Moscow Spartak, which in a broader context was really an event of Yaroslavl police vs. Moscow soccer hooligans. http://www.fivenakedaliens.org/index/

#Brief history moment: the Russians and Poles have a long-standing animosity since the Middle Ages. I'm not sharp on details, as I've only studied modern Russian history, but it has something to do with the Polish knights constantly trying to conquer European Russia, possibly because Russia had to beat their way through Polish territory in order to gain access to the Baltic Sea under Peter the Great, and I doubt that 70 years as a Soviet satellite state has done anything to help matters.

*From what I gather, "limonka" is slang for a grenade, like the American military WWII slang "pineapple grenade."

General Winter and Admiral Frost

2005-10-30T12:56:00.000-08:00

No sooner had Fall moved in than Winter shoved him out of the way and sat down, without even having the decency to wait until November. Snowfall (that stuck) before Halloween! How rude!

In Moscow with the parents, having a grand ol' time. Flying to Saint Petersburg on Wednesday, to do the touristy bit there.

In the meantime, I've developed an unsavory taste for old Soviet coinage, stamps and other such paraphenalia. Well, it's not really anything new...I've had a CCCP/USSR flag hanging in my dorm room since second semester freshman year, but it's a hobby (read: habit) that's a lot easier to indulge here at the source.

More to come later.

FUBAR

2005-10-25T03:47:00.000-07:00

The first significant post I felt like writing in the past week and a half just got eaten by the system, adding one more small misfortune to a good 10 days of minor annoyances.

FUBAR!

If My Life Were a Tarantino Film

2005-10-23T23:58:00.000-07:00

Vincent: And you know what they call a Quarter Pounder with cheese in Moscow?
Jules: They don't call it a Quarter Pounder with cheese?
Vincent: No man, they got the metric system. They wouldn't know what a Quarter Pounder is.
Jules: Then what do they call it?
Vincent: They call it a Royale Deluxe.
Jules: A Royale Deluxe. What do they call a Big Mac?
Vincent: Well, a Big Mac's a Big Mac, but they call it Big Mak.
Jules: Big Mak. Ha ha ha ha! What do they call a Whopper?
Vincent: I dunno, I didn't go into Burger King.

One Week Until Moscow

2005-10-22T05:08:00.000-07:00

No real news from the world at large. Bad year for natural disasters, it would seem.

Curiouser and Curiouser

2005-10-16T00:23:00.000-07:00

So it seems that Fall weather has finally hit. After a prolonged period of nice, sunny 10-12 C days, the chilly, drizzly 4-6 C time is upon us. The sun is starting to get that perpetual early morning/late afternoon look. Word has it that the sun will eventually start rising around 10AM and setting around 4PM. Unf.

Guitar lessons are progressing slowly. If learning to play the guitar is like learning how to dance, and Jimmy Hendrix is some sort of ballet grandmaster, I may have just gotten the hang of tapping my feet in a rhythmic sort of way.

The weekend turned out to be a bit surprising. In the "Well, I didn't see that coming," sort of way. Tea outside of McDonald's at 2AM, standing around in the rain waiting to see two roleviki (read: roleplaying nerds in chainmail) beat each other up over a girl, etc. I'm not sure if wierd stuff just happens here, or if the wierd stuff that happens here just seems stranger for it.

Only two more weeks before my parents arrive in Moscow, and we go on our whirlwind tour of Russia's capitols. (Well, the two of them, at least.) Huzzah!

On another note:
The babushkas here all look, well, identical. So much so that we've begun to suspect that the Soviets mass-produced a surplus of them in a secret factory in Siberia. For one thing, they all wear what I have dubbed the M1 Standard Issue Babushka Uniform, which consists of:

Button-down Overcoat, powder blue, grey or beige (x1)
Thick Stockings, pair, dark blue or beige (x1)
Loafers, pair, beige or black (x1)
Headscarf, assorted colors (x1)
Weary, disillusioned expression (x1)

Nothing Nice to Say

2005-10-11T01:16:00.000-07:00

Current events in the news media has been mostly, as per usual, a lot of Bad Things Happening to Other People. However, yesterday I was happy to hear a bit of good news. After weeks of political gridlock, the Germans have just elected a woman, Angela Merkel, to the post of сhancellor (prime minister). She is a centrist-conservative, but that's to be expected. She is also purportedly the youngest person to be elected chancellor, as well as the first east German. Well done for the Germans, I say. Granted, it was not decided by popular vote, but still. I'll take my advances for the cause of feminism where I can take them. Let's just hope she does a decent job of things. The system of popular vote, unfortunately, is why it's going to be a very long time before we see a woman president in the States, I think.

Teapots, Cakes and FIREARMS

2005-10-07T04:41:00.000-07:00

Just got back a 3-day excursion to the city of Tula. Tula is, apparently, well-known for three things: samovars, pryaniki and their armanents factories. In other words, teapots, spice cookies and guns. Naturally, we visited a museum dedicated to each, in turn.

Interestingly enough, Tula became the national arms production center (during the reign of Peter the Great) because it was the national center of teapot production. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Samovar The tsar was looking for a place to build weapons for his armies and Tula had an ample supply of experienced metalworkers, just the thing for making cannon and muskets. Nowadays, there's not much funding for new arms production and so a lot of the factories have switched over to building slightly more mundane items, like toasters and radios. The weapons museum was all sorts of awesome, though the guide left a lot to be desired. I'll spare the details, but I just have to say it was pretty exciting to see cross-slices of the Nagant and Mosin rifle prototypes, along with Maxim guns, PPShs, Panzerfausts and...! Er, ahem. Anyway. Moving on.

We also had the opportunity to visit the estate of Tolstoy, including a visit to his grave. The weather was terrific and it's rather pretty in the Fall. We also visited the former home and village of Russian poet and tragic figure Sergei Essenin. Nothing too special really, but the guide was easily the best we've had so far. (She spoke slowly and used small words.)

Not much else to report for now. A number of Yaro students (and the resident coordinator) have birthdays within the next few days and so we'll be celebrating in due order tonight and tomorrow. That, along with guitar and more physical training, will probably be occupying most of my time for a bit.

Hasn't Quite Ensued Yet

2005-10-02T01:38:00.000-07:00

A brief update for today, methinks.

Yesterday was another laundry day. The city has turned on the heat (centralized heating, centralized water), so the clothes I hung in the bathroom dried overnight. Huzzah! It's the little things that brighten ones day.

The weather has been quite nice for the past two days. The Russians have an expression for this that roughly equates to our term "Indian Summer" except it's something like "Grandma Summer" or "Girly Summer."

Had my first guitar lesson yesterday. As it turns out, playing the guitar is surprisingly uncomfortable. Callouses and hands of steel seem to be the order of the day. But, the tutor is a good guy, and for a 100r ($3.33US)for an hour lesson, it's about ten times cheaper than anything in the States.

Tuesday morning we leave for our second excursion, to Tula! If you bust out a map, and look southwest of Moscow (one or three hours), you might find it. What's in Tula? Most exciting to me is that Tula is home to an arms factory where the Mosin-Nagant rifle was produced (chances are, my own Mosin-Nagant was assembled there). We won't be visiting the factory, of course, but there is an arms museum which we'll be going to. Glee! Also, there's a samovar museum.

Cultural Moment: The samovar is a sort of fancy teapot introduced to Russia somewhere in the 16th century.

Unfortunately, the next two days after that don't have anything nearly as interesting on the agenda. We'll be visiting Tolstoy's estate, the estate of some other author well-known only to Russians and slavophiles, and not much else. Lots of free time to explore the city, I suppose. I'll be coming back late Thursday evening, so don't be alarmed if you don't hear from me until Friday.

Winning and Losing by Degrees

2005-09-30T04:15:00.000-07:00

Back again. Haven't been online long enough to batch up a post for the past two days or so. Been doing quite a lot of lifting heavy things and putting them down again.

Also, got a hair cut. I think it turned out well.

I made the acquaintances of some first year students of the Psychology department (Russians begin their first year at 17, as grade school only goes to 11th), when I decided to show up to a poetry event of some sort or another. I apparently missed an important vocabulary word on the sign, and it turned out that it was a poetry contest. Several students recited some poems of varying length and topic from memory, and were judged by the artistry of their performance.

Сultural Moment: Memorizing poetry is a fairly common aspect of Russian culture (by which they improve their memories, they say) and my newfound Russian companions were fairly surprised to discover we had no such practice in the Americas.

This was a decent experience in and of itself, but the real value was in meeting a fellow geek and his friends. I was supposed to go to a group guitar lesson that evening, but I skipped on it in order to chat with Alexander, who loves Lord of the Rings, making chainmail and LARPing. Geekdom is truly an international fraternity.

He was kind enough to invite me to hang out with his friends yesterday evening. We loitered on the banks of the Volga, he and his friend Nastya played guitar and sang and we chatted. Very pleasant. Apparently there still is some novelty in meeting an American- or rather, to be more precise, a native English speaker. Everybody wants to practice their English, which is almost ironic, since I'm here to practice my Russian. The bilingualism comes in handy though, so we can switch back and forth to work around communication issues.

In the meantime, I found a private tutor for guitar (Ben was kind enough to pass on a referral he had received) and will be meeting with him on Saturday.

Other news: Tonight we have made reservations to eat at a Japanese restaurant named "Airplane," which is decorated (no, "decorated" understating- more like remodeled, designed, outfitted) to be the interior of some sort of luxurious 1970's supercosmo airliner, complete with waitresses dressed like flight attendants (are we allowed to say stewardess anymore?) and sushi on rotating belts. Bizarre, bordering on the surreal.

More hilarity to ensue.

Pip pip, cheerio and all that.

2005-09-25T01:12:00.000-07:00

So! Internet has been a bother since yesterday, but nothing worth getting into.

Friday night was enjoyable. The group of us (four Brits, three Russians, two Americans and a Finn) went to Andre's apartments for drinks and then went to see ex-Gorki Park at the "art-club" Partizan, one of the few venues in town that plays proper rock. It has a bit of a mixed reputation, partly as being an unreliable atmosphere (either the band's great or it's awful) and partly as a drug-buying locale. According to Simone, our director, a fellow got shot there last year, which I'm sure does nothing to improve its PR. Unfortunately, we misjudged how late the band would actually start and only got to see about half the show. It was good fun anyway.

Last night, a bunch of the Americans and some new Russian friends came over to my flat for a fairly typical Russian hang out, meaning drinks and snacks, conversation, etc. (The host mother left for the dacha [country home] yesterday.) Enjoyable and mild.

(BTW, for those interested, there's a substantial drip that has just developed in the ceiling of the internet cafe. And a ceiling tile has just fallen to the floor. Let's hear it for Russia!)

Did another wash by hand last night. Today is homework and whatnot. Excited for tomorrow. There's a student event at 5, followed by the beginner's guitar lessons at 7. Wish me luck!

Also worth mentioning was Thursday night. Ben and I went with Andre and his friend Mark to go buy tickets for the Partizan concert, and then we tagged along to Andre's friends' apartment (By the by, can anyone please explain to me, definitively, the use of apostrophes in the possessive? I would appreciate it.) just to, well, hang out and such. (Also convince them to come to Partizan with us, since they were all "undecided.") It was... a slightly awkward experience. Our Russian really isn't that good, they didn't speak much English, and I believe that it was then that I found myself most obviously aware of a cultural barrier.

Russian women are simply...well, more feminine. I don't mean to offend anyone, but it's impossible to discuss this sort of thing without using loaded language. (The Gender Studies people really need to invent a new lexicon already.) To be blunt, American and British women are a good deal more proactive (aggressive), less self-conscious, certainly a lot less fashion conscious by comparison, than the average Russian girl, I think.

Okay, must run, they're shutting down the lab because of the leak. Damnation and fortescue!

[2 hours later]

Between defunct bandwidth lines, FUBAR cell phone сommunications, leaking ceilings and falling tiles, you'd think I'd have given up by now. But no! I persevere and will continue to brave the odds for your sake, dear readers!

I was caught in the middle of a thought when I was kicked out of the 'net lab, but I believe that I have said all that I can on the topic for now. I expect to return to this subject later, once I have had the opportunity to make more observations and discuss it with Russians. I will say one more thing, though, and this that considering this nation was once one of the foremost leaders in women's rights and feminism, (preceded perhaps only by Weimar Germany, especially since there was never any women's suffrage to gain for Russian women, ever, until 1991 when it was granted as a matter of fact) the current state is even more striking. A number of scholarly individuals have suggested a cultural backlash- I suspect that we may once again find ourselves blaming the Soviets.

What the Russians Do

2005-09-22T06:09:00.000-07:00

The gym is a really excellent facility, and a prime example of what the Russians have always been able to do well: build a new facility, model it on European designs, import the best foreign-made equipment and take advantage of the plentiful labor market. It worked for Peter the Great, it worked for the Soviets, it works for the New Russians. Things never change.

Met a personal trainer by the name of Roman (there were lots, just sort of hanging around.) Nice guy. I'm set up for another workout with him tomorrow. The fee for a personal trainer of the "Master" sort (one can choose from 2nd Class, 1st Class, Master and SuperMaster) is c.2200 rubles for a month, for 3 hours per week. At first glance, I thought this was a bit costly (considering the gym membership only cost 4500r [$160] for 3 months), but then I broke it down and realized that the rate was something like $7/hour.

Also, went back to the Economics building to try and track down the class schedule. Had to explain this to the security guard, and then explain why I wanted to get the class schedule for Econ when my student ID says that I'm part of the History department, and why I didn't have an appointment with anyone (as it was after normal class hours).

I'm slightly puzzled as to why they have a security guard at the facility, but it seems that a fair number of places have security. Both the cell phone store and the gym have security guards. Nearly every other business advertises protection under one security firm or another. I just have to wonder what sort of crime is being protected against. The military and police presence in the city is not as prevalent as in Moscow, but it still seems fairly well patrolled. Perhaps the corruption is as bad as all that, that private contractors have to be hired out for protection of property. Is Russia becoming more mercenary, more capitalist than we are?

Our politics teacher took us to a city libary today, where we learned how to navigate the card catalogue system. Yes, card catalogue. Haven't used one of those since grade school. The widespread use of pen and paper, even for official documents, is almost quaint in a nostalgic sort of way. I'm sure I won't be quite as amused when time comes to do a 10-page research paper at the end of the semester, in language.

Andre invited us out again to a rock concert tomorrow night at the club Partizan. Only a few of us will be going this time, but I expect it to be fun. I'm quite grateful for his invitations. 's all for now. DJ RedScare over and out.

A Certain Minimalist Charm and Other Thoughts

2005-09-21T02:28:00.000-07:00

Regarding the trip: 50+ hours by bus and boat. Wooden cathedrals. Peasant houses. Waterfall. More peasant houses. Monastery. Not much more to say about it.

Succesfully managed to navigate the Russian postal services. Oorah!

Also did a wash by hand. Learned that drip-drying mostly involves dripping, not so much with the drying. The cool and cloudy weather hasn't helped much on that front. Nothing like scrubbing a pair of pants in a bucket to make you realize that you own too many clothes. I'd already started to scale back, but I think I'll be cutting my wardrobe down even further.

Need a haircut. I do not doubt that this will be an adventure in itself.

Today is gym day. I look forward to checking out the facilities.

So far I've seen four women today wearing jackets longer than their skirts. Lots of knee-high boots with stiletto heels. Lots of stockings, some with fancy patterns like roses or spirals. I'm not gonna lie, it's pretty cool. One has to wonder at the fashion-consciousness of the Russians. Perhaps it's coming out of a backlash from the Soviet system (if all else fails, blame the Communists), where fashion was dictated by central planners. I doubt Gorbachev was all about the high heels. Mum posited the theory that perhaps the prevalence of dressing up is a way for people to manifest physical beauty in spite of the grim disrepair of the buildings.

Also, walked into the Econ building today to find the admin office for future reference. Did I see an economics lecture full of hot girls?

"I want a girl who gets up early
I want a girl who stays up late
I want a girl with uninterrupted prosperity
Who uses a machete, to cut her red tape

With fingernails that shine like justice
And a voice that is dark like tainted glass
She is fast, thorough, and sharp as a tack
She’s touring the facilities and picking up the slack
I want a girl with a short skirt and a long, long jacket."
-Cake

Yes? Yes.

My friend and classmate Ashley has uploaded her photos, including quite a few from our recent trip. I look rather dashing in a scarf, methinks.
www.silveraure.myphotoalbum.com

Those of you just interested in crazy Russian adventures can stop reading here.

I've had a few moments of frustration, but I find myself appreciating the life. It has a certain minimalist charm to it. I think a lot of the joy I've discovered here has to do with having gotten out of Middlebury.

At this point I feel obligated to say something like "Now, don't get me wrong, Middlebury's a great school but..." but I won't. Middlebury is a high class institution, this much is true. But the farther I get from my sophomore year, the more I find that I am, more than anything else, relieved that I won't be going back for a long time. Here, I feel as though I am part of the real world, that I am operating and living in connection with actual people.

There's a lot of...sickness at Middlebury, although I have no doubt that the situation is similar at other schools. Insulated and isolated, an entire world of elite youths, shorn from their friends and family, tutored by a cadre of distant pedagogues and researchers, but otherwise left to their own devices. Considering the intense proximity with so many "peers," the crushing loneliness and, for me, the insidious boredom, are bizarre facts of college life. The experiences and culture that come out of this are truly disconcerting. In truth, I am surprised by my own harsh assesment, at times.

Right now, I do not miss it. I do not miss the isolation. I do not miss the parties. I do not miss the self-flagellation and the insincere excuses.

And now for something completely different.

Moving on to a slightly related topic-
My own thoughts on dating and the school hook-up culture:

At Middlebury and other schools, the norm for boy-girl (or girl-girl, boy-boy for those alternative types) interaction of the more intimate variety has developed into one of two things: 1) the hook up 2) "the Midd Marriage"

Quick terminology- Hook up (verb)- when two individuals, usually strangers or acquaintances meet at some social gathering and then spend the night together. Actual conduct can range from PG-13 to X.

"Midd Marriage" (noun)- when two individuals "go out," "date," or otherwise enter a monogamous relationship. Given the close proximity of living space, this usually ends up with limited forms of cohabitation, and spending a lot of time together, often bordering on the excessive.

A recent trend has been going around wherein people lament the lack of dating on college campuses. They bemoan hook-ups as meaningless, or demonize the "Midd marriage," and scratch their heads and wonder where traditional dating has gone.

To me, this manner of going about things is not strange. Unfortunate, perhaps, but not unexplainable.

First, consider the purpose of dating. Back in the world, to borrow a term from Vietnam, people have to go on dates in order to acquaint themselves with each other and determine if they want to pursue a romantic relationship. Workplaces and other social gathering places where one meets people don't allow for the sort of relaxed interaction that dates provide. After a few dates, people decide if they want to pursue things further, whether as friends or in a relationship, so to speak.

Life on the college campus, with centralized housing and dining, requires no such social ritual. If you believe you may be interested in somebody, there are a number of ways of seeking out their company with the express purpose of needing to ask them out on a date. For one thing, a date entails a significant possibility of rejection. Joining somebody for a meal at the dining hall does not. One can see them between classes, talk to them at the library, see them at parties. Especially if this love interest moves in the same circle of friends, chances are that there will be a myriad of opportunities wherein you will be able to determine mutual interest and therefore decide whether or not you will want to pursue the relationship without ever going out on a bona fide date. For another thing, where would one go on a date in a place like Middlebury (or Bowdoin, or Carleton, or anything of the other dozens of small liberal arts school located out in the rural boondocks)? There's the town, which has all of a poor movie theater and a handful of restaurants. And that, of course, would require spending money. Not that Middlebury students are loathe to spend money, but spending money to take somebody out is a symbolic action which is really best reserved for somebody whom is, frankly, worth the bother and who you are certain will appreciate it. I.e. somebody whom you are already going out with.

Consider this example: I decided to break from the protocol and asked a girl whom I was interested in on a date. We went out to a restaurant, watched a DVD, had a pleasant time, talked for hours on end, and otherwise enjoyed ourselves in a very friendly manner. I thought things had gone smashingly. I tried to pursue developing the relationship further. As it turns out, after a lot of uncomfortable ambiguity, the girl in question really "didn't have time for a relationship" (which, as we all know is merely a pleasant way of saying "I'm not interested."). Nothing terrible, right? Just a bit of bad luck, try again next time, everyone has to get shot down plenty before finding the right person, yeah? Yes. But I had gone to significant effort for no tangible result. Was this is in any way preferable to pursuing less direct means of finding out that she wasn't interested? No. Would I have enjoyed myself more if we had simply gotten trashed one night at a party and had meaningless sex and never spoken again? That's not my modus operandi, but frankly I doubt it could have been a worse experience.

And so that's where dating went. That's my theory, anyways.

Back

2005-09-19T02:29:00.000-07:00

And in desperate need of a shower.
And need to do homework.

Unf.

I could really go for a slice of pie right now.

Kizhi or Bust

2005-09-15T05:01:00.000-07:00

Being in a foreign country is like regressing back to childhood. You have to relearn not only how to speak, but how to accomplish even the simplest of tasks. Everything is either a learning experience or an adventure, with the associated frustrations, anxieties and whatever the heck else. Negotiating transportation, ordering a meal at a restaurant, packing for a 16 hour busride before walking five blocks to the gym so you can take a shower because your building hasn't had hot water for the past two days because of some sort of reconstruction and nobody knows when it will be turned back on again and your host mother forbids you to take a cold shower because you've just caught a sore throat. You know, that sort of average, everyday stuff that we do regularly back in the States.

-takes a deep breath-

Russia's a nation under construction. Everywhere there are men in overalls, painting, chipping, welding, driving large machinery or otherwise loitering in a very businesslike manner. Of course, the entire country is in need of a fresh coat of paint, so it's encouraging to see that work is being done.

In forty minutes, we depart for the city of Kizhi. If you bust out a good map of Russia, check several hours to the northwest of St. Petersburg in a little nook/bay area near the Russo-Finnish border. Wish me luck. If I'm not back by Monday, send a rescue team.

Lenin says Hi

2005-09-13T22:53:00.000-07:00

There are a few things I never imagined I'd end up doing. Somewhere on that list is "Standing beneath a huge statue of Lenin in a strange city, at midnight, waiting for a cab."

For some unexplained reason, or perhaps more likely, some unexplainable reason, there was no hot water in the building today. (I'm sure this will garner no sympathy from Jess or Kathryn, but the rest of you suitably pampered by life in the first world have permission to go "That poor boy, I told him not go.")

Also, in case anybody gets the sudden urge to call me (or text message, text messages are awesome) my new (functioning) Bee Line number is +7 960 53 69 16. I plan on making some calls home soon as I can figure out how to get this newfangled long-distance calling card to work. (If calling, please be mindful of the time difference. Eight hours from EST, eleven from PST. Otherwise I won't pick up and I haven't figured out voice mail...assuming we have voice mail. Argh.)

I still have moments where I come back to myself and wonder where I am. And then the answer comes: "Oh, right. Russia." I have the feeling that this is going to become more frequent than less. Maybe it'll pass after the culture shock peaks.

Tomorrow afternoon, the group leaves on a trip for Kizhi. Something about wooden churches and island hopping. How we gonna get there? 16 hours on the bus? Hooah!

Bee Line and Lokomotiv

2005-09-13T05:02:00.000-07:00

Several days ago I purchased an MTS (a local cell service) SIM card for my father's old European business phone with the help of our resident coordinator. However, I quickly learned two things: 1) Either MTS, or some combination of MTS and phone, doesn't work in the apartment, for whatever reason. 2) The phone's battery is several years old and holds about as much charge as a AA right now. So, today I managed to go into the Evroset store and purchase myself a functioning cell phone today. There's a certain sense of accomplishment that comes along with that. Let's just hope I understood the procedures to activate the phone.

Also, last night, we went to the new hockey arena to watch the game. Yaroslavl's Lokomotiv vs. Moscow's TsSKA (Moscow has something like 5 different hockey teams). The stadium was very new, very nice, and very loud. We had our seats right behind a goal post, one row behind the ice. Yaroslavl's team has won the national championship for a few years now, and so folks are pretty enthusiastic. Fans brought drums, flags, noisemakers, and there was one dude with a trumpet. Probably the most coordinated cheering I've ever observed, short of The Wave. There was even a small, hardcore band of Moscow not too far from us, singing anthems and chanting, compensating for numbers with volume and unity. Loko dominated the game pretty early on, leading 5-2 when I left (about 5 minutes into the third period, so as to avoid the obscenely crowded rush at the end of the game.). The end score was 5-4. Also, there were cheerleaders. Lots of them. At least eighteen or so, scattered in three groups across the arena. Behind us, there was a lit platform for what I can only guess was the elite cheerleading squad, shaking pom-poms and the more wobbly bits of their anatomy whenever the stadium audio came on. I'm still somewhat puzzled by the concept of cheerleaders. For one thing, the name is inaccurate. They don't lead cheers. I suppose there's always a demand for skinny girls to frolic about with short skirts and bare midrifts. That's about the only explanation I can think of. (Linguistic sidenote, I couldn't find a translation for the word "cheerleader." I'm inclined to believe Russian doesn't have one, as our Conversation teacher just called them "the girls.")

I've located both the economy and the history department buildings in the city, and so I'm going to look into mainsteam classes for auditing, or possibly for credit. (Phonetics class is almost boring enough I'd risk a mainstream to avoid it.)

And post-Soviet life goes on

2005-09-11T05:54:00.000-07:00

Shopping for goods almost never involves a credit card in Yaroslavl. A sports store selling mostly "American" (and by American I mean US brands produced in China) goods actually had a credit card machine, but it took about four different employees and five minutes to figure it out. I see a definite market for the growth of a plastic economy in Russia.

Last night was also our first night at a Russian club. A friend of our resident coordinator was kind enough to invite us out, and so about a half dozen of us foreign students made our way to Indigo, a new bar and dance joint that just opened up a week ago. The bar section was extremely nice. Expensive by Russian standards, items were cheap to normal by US$ prices. At 11PM, the dance part opened. Around 1AM, a House DJ from Moscow started his stuff. At 0100, there were maybe three dozen people in the club part, and maybe twenty of them on the dance floor at a given time. I have officially concluded that Russia is the whitest nation on the planet. The music was loud and the dancing was very... restrained. A less forgiving observer might say that Russians just can't dance. A little bit of hip swaying, maybe some arm waving, maybe some shoulder shimmy if you're lucky. I've seen kids in goth/industrial clubs move more passionately. Our host lamented the night life in Yaroslavl, but I have the impression that rules I've observed for clubbing apply here just as everywhere: you're going out with your group, if you want to have fun it has to come from the people you're with, and the club or bar is just a choice of location.

In the past week, I've managed to speak a lot of English. The Middlebury program students are less afraid to speak to each other in English in cafes or on the street, and only three of us have expressed a desire to srictly adhere to the Language Pledge. (For those of you who haven't heard of this, it's basically an agreement to minimize communication in English and speak Russian when humanly possible. I have a number of mixed opinions on this matter, especially since I've seen a lot of people who stick to the Pledge just don't speak at all rather than in Russian, which to me almost seems more counterproductive overall.)And, naturally, since none of us have really had a chance to make a lot (or any) Russian friends, communication in the language is mostly limited to class time and when our teachers/directors are around.

On a side note:
Another acquaintance from Middlebury is keeping a regular blog, from Irkutsk. Irkutsk is in Siberia, a place where, despite the urgings of Professor West and some of my classmates, I patently refuse to go. Check it out at: http://www.livejournal.com/users/kinglear02/

You think I'd be used to it by now...

2005-09-08T22:05:00.000-07:00

But I keep waking up in a foreign country.

Life is still good, but I'm starting to feel the slightest bit homesick. I've been looking into stuff to do with my free time, of which there seems to be plenty. There's a very nice gym near the apartment, guitar lessons are going to be offered beginning September 26th and our resident coordinator has found a place in Yaro that teaches sambo (Russian self-defense martial art developed in 1938, based on judo). Somewhere along the line, I'd like to find a venue for meeting Russian kids my age. First Friday in town, and I have no idea what I'm going to do. Taking a mainstream class (i.e. a course in one of YrGU's programs) may be the best way to meet people, but the prospect of feeling completely lost and frustrated for several hours a week is a little daunting. (Undiluted collegiate level Russian after 4 semesters of study? Riiiiight.) Not to mention the absurdly difficult task of finding an interesting (manageable) class in the first place. Because Russians sign up for a curriculum that's already planned out as soon as they start year one, YrGU doesn't have anything like a course catalogue. Or even a central directory. Apparently the process involves wandering around university buildings looking for the right office and hoping it's open.

On the upside, I'm much more comfortable finding my way around the center of the city, and can generally navigate to where I need to go.

In Other News

2005-09-07T01:14:00.000-07:00

A classmate by the name of Ann Dailey is also maintaining a blog of Yaro life. Check it out at http://anndailey.blogspot.com

The food here, much as in other places, varies widely. From the tendencies of Russian cusine in general, one might be inclined to conclude that these are the [i] whitest [/i] people on the planet. Mayonnaise is universal in sandwiches (such as they are) and in a number of dishes, and the Russian equivalent of sour cream goes into soups, and who knows what else. Home cooking is good, many people grow their own vegetables at the dacha (another peculiar feature of Russian life, nearly everyone has a small house in the country, with a tiny plot of land for a garden), food on the street is decent, cheap and fast, and restaurants vary. A number of pizza places have opened in Yaroslavl in the past few years, and we're in the process of deciding which ones we like best.

Yaroslavl is home to a brewery, which produces Yarpiva (piva being the Russian word for beer). However, it is purportedly awful, but cheap. Not too suprising considering it was founded in 1974 (high Soviet style). Among the better beers locally available is Baltika. They have a line of 9 beers, numbered 1 through 9 (appropriately), the number also indicating alcohol content. I was vaguely aware of this fact when I ordered a Baltika from a cozy cafe in the city center (right above a music store called Sergeant Pepper), my first drink in Russia. Perhaps it was that I hadn't slept very well the night before, perhaps it was that I had eaten a light lunch, or maybe it was just the fact tha I'm an American kid and this was Baltika 8 they served me. Simply put, it knocked my ass out. I had to take a small nap when I got back to the apartment. Knowing the strength of the beer, I think it'll be easier to refuse drinking vodka. That's all to report for now. Off to lunch at the local pizza parlor.

Yaroslavl II

2005-09-06T01:04:00.000-07:00

So, the city itself. I have the feeling that the cities one finds in Russia are not exactly like anything one will see anyhwere else. The city is fairly large, being home to c. 700,000 people. It is very much urban, but it doesn't have the looming, threatening, metropolitan feel of a city like Moscow or San Francisco. All of the buildings are at least three stories tall, and the apartment complexes can reach up to ten or so stories, but they are all spaced apart, the streets are wide, and there's a decent amount of pedestrian traffic. There is a good deal of greenery, which adds to the comfort of the city; trees in the sidewalks, and lots of little parks between major streets, and near the Volga river. The majority of the people here, it seems, use the public transportation, which is plentiful. There are no less than three different methods of getting around the city, all of which are basically the same. Trolleybus, bus, and microbus. A monthly pass for about $8 lets you ride anywhere and as often you please on the trolley and regular buses. Between cities, one generally rides the train. A trip between Yaroslavl and Moscow costs about $10 and takes about 4 hours. All of the Middlebury students live in the center of the city. (i.e. in the general vicinity of the university and shopping district. I have to take the trolleybus into the center, about twenty minutes with walking to and from the stops.) outside of this center, the city sprawls into the massive residential apartment complexes typical of Soviet era central planning.

Cultural history time: The town of Yaroslavl was founded by the Rus noble Yaroslav the Wise in the 11th century AD. According to legend, the area was residence to a pagan tribe that worshipped a bear as their god and progenitor. When Yaroslav, an Orthodox Christian, came, they figured the bear would kill him. However, Yaroslav killed the bear with a pole-axe and converted the people. For this reason, the symbol of the city is a bear carrying a silver pole-axe.

The university itself, Yaroslavl State University (ЯрГУ), has no central campus, but rather a number of buildings divided up into different academic departments and subdepartments scattered across the city. The foreign student classrooms and facilities are located in Yaroslavl's Red Square in the Physics building. Unlike in relatively centralized American universities, and very different from liberal arts programs in the US, students in Russia (as in many other places in Europe including Spain) sign up for a single academic program and continue that program for five years. Students rarely take classes in other departments, and the class schedules are predetermined.

There are a number of other foreign students here. I had the pleasure of meeting several English girls the other day, and we have the occasional student from a different program. One of my acquaintances from the Middlebury Summer Language program (who is studying with a different program here) is also keeping a blog of his exploits in Yaroslavl and Russia, with photos. They're given to more artistic inclinations rather than illustrating what the city looks like, but they're nice anyhow. http://volganotes.blogspot.com

On prices: Stuff is cheaper here. Items that we usually think of something like luxury goods, such as books, DVDs and alcohol, are terrifically inexpensive. Russian booksellers don't (there's a fancy economics term for this, but I seem to have forgotten it) try to differentiate between buyers (i.e. price gouge) the way we do in the States. Almost everything here is sold in hardback, and cost between $4 and $7. DVDs, which are probably pirated, but pirated well, cost $4 or less. I bought a DVD which had 4 films on it (with English subtitles, ALL region) for $4. You can buy a DVD set with all six Star Wars movies for not much more. Like I said before, the high end vodka costs about $10. Swill costs less than $3. However, certain goods, especially imported goods, while probably cheaper than they would be in the States, are much closer to US prices. Electronics, clothing, seem set to consume a very large proportion of a Russian's income. I would love to be able to take a look at the development of the prices of these goods, and compare them to the US, in relation to income, etc.

The people: Don't expect anyone to smile at you unless you know them. This is especially true of serving staff. In the US we smile as a part of speech, whether or not we're actually glad to see somebody. The Russians consider this insincere and reserve their smiles for friends and humorous occasions. That being said, they are fairly friendly.

Yaroslavl University is also home to the Military Finance School, and so there are a lot of soldier-students walking around in officer uniforms. (Grunts walk around in fatigues. The police seem to operate on the same standard. If you have rank, you get a fancy hat and a uniform.) While not nearly as common as in Moscow (police and/or army on EVERY street), seeing a soldier on the streets is an every day thing.

Of note: If you like sweet wine, try Georgian wine. Quite tasty, and just the semi-sweet tastes rather pleasant. According to Lonely Planet, the sweet is enough to "turn your mouth inside out."

It's about 50 to 60 degrees F over here and overcast. One can feel that it will be getting much colder, much sooner.

Yaroslavl

2005-09-03T06:10:00.000-07:00

Okay, ladies and gentlemen, I've arrived in Yaroslavl. If you get out your maps and look northeast from Moscow, you'll find it. That's about 4 hours by train. My host бабушка is a nice woman, retired sociology professor, with a daughter who now teaches psychology at YrGU, and a son who works in computers in Moscow. Thankfully, she hasn't tried to overfeed me. Apparently this is a legitimate concern. (A student last year gained 20 lbs in a semester.) I am the only male in a group of 9 American students in Yaroslavl on the Middlebury program. Not a bad deal.

Among the more notable impressions of the place, I've had so far:

When they say alcohol is available and cheap, they mean it. You can buy beer from a kiosk on just about every street corner, and I've seen at least one person drinking before noon. (This may have something to do with the fact that Russians don't consider beer "alcohol." True story- Another student in the program tells her host mother that she can't drink alcohol. Her host mother serves her wine with dinner. Student states again that she can't drink alcohol. Host mother responds thusly: "But, wine isn't alcohol!" This is similar to the problems that vegetarians have here. "I don't eat meat," one might say. Of course, "meat" in Russian has a specific meaning that does not extend to chicken, pork or sausage.) A half-liter of vodka costs from anywhere between three and ten dollars.

In general, prices are much cheaper. Lunch costs less than five dollars. A ride on the bus is about twenty cents.

Moscow is both awesome and depressing. I think one of the defining moments of my time in Russia can be characterized by something I saw on the bus driving from the airport to the hotel Belgrad. Imagine a beautiful sculpted mural, with handsome workers and peasants, hammers and sickles held high, an abundance of wheat and rifles. All the amazing, classic symbols of the triumphs of the proletariat. And directly below this, the gaudy, god-awful neon abomination of "Casino New York," jutting out of the building. There's a lot of that. It looks like Vegas fell on Moscow.

In the lobby of the Hotel Belgrad, I was propositioned by a prostitute. It took me a few minutes after the fact to figure out what had happened, as it was slightly more subtle than a "Me so horny, me love you long time" FMJ-style hooker. The resident coordinator expressed no surprise when I mentioned it at breakfast the next morning.

Moscow is packed to the gills with overpriced, extra fancy designer clothing stores. Unfortunate. In these places, a fur hat or a coat can cost as much as a washing machine.

Many of the girls are very "nicely" dressed. The American girls on the program have been making an effort to dress up more than usual, but they still look underdressed by comparison most of the time. Small, leather manbags (also known as murses) are popular in Yaroslavl. Less so in Moscow.

Many of the buildings in Moscow have beautiful stone facades... with air-conditioners drilled into them. This is a land of exposed pipes and wires. The general philosophy seems to have been that complete reconstruction is too bothersome to worthwhile, so they just tack stuff on.

So that's the update for now. Feel free to post questions in the comments. I'll be sure to respond. I hope all of you are well.

Sincerely,
Ryan

AAAAAH!! FOR THE MOTHERLAND!!

2005-09-01T03:51:00.000-07:00

In Russia.

Not dead yet.

That's all I have to report for now.

Fat Man on Art

2005-08-19T17:26:00.000-07:00

“Art is infection. The artist has a feeling and he expresses it and once this feeling infects other people and they have it to. And the infection must be immediate or it isn’t art. If you have to puzzle timidly over a picture or book, and try, try to like it and read many erudite critics on the subject so that you can say at last: “Yes, I think I really do begin to understand it and see that it is just splendid! Real art!” Then it is not Art.”- Tolstoi

HOOOME...(for two weeks)

2005-08-17T14:32:00.000-07:00

Stuff stuff stuff.

Packing light will be the order of the day, as I organize my things and seek out the miscellaneous whatnots I need for my long jouney to -cue big dramatic voice with echo- RUSSIA! Washing machines are in short supply, or short demand, and so I must be able to wash my clothes by hand. How dependable! How self-sufficient! How proletarian!

I am now full of disease. The corpse-fluid vaccinations of Hep A, Hep B and a Tetanus are being prepared against, and I swallowed a dose of Typhoid Fever not two hours ago, to be repeated every other day for 6 more days. Huzzah for Typhoid!

Other needed supplies include: credit cards capable of cash advance, first aid kit, voltage converter, spare eyeglasses, и так далее.

More exciting news of no relevance whatever to come!

Delightful Rain

2005-08-01T10:06:00.000-07:00

Language school is almost over, which means I'll soon be back on the West coast...for two weeks before shipping off to the Russian hinterlands. Notably, there are no other kind of Russian lands.

In any case, Caesar may be back online and active soon enough.

AtomicToy.org

2005-07-04T13:04:00.000-07:00

"Pledge allegiance to the huge!"

If you've ever watched Dragonball Z, you'll probably laugh until you cry. If you've never watched DBZ, you're probably just going to be shocked at the language.

http://www.atomictoy.org/comics/buttlordgt/buttlordgt.html

"Price check on kicked ass!"

Помогите!

2005-07-03T22:14:00.000-07:00

Я сашёл с ума.

МРЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕП!

God Damned Creepy

2005-07-01T14:17:00.000-07:00

I'm not gonna mention how I came up on this, but if you do a Google image search for "braden porn star.sized." Braden Barnett's online photo album from Stanford will come up.

OMFGWTFBBQ

My kind of propaganda

2005-06-29T20:13:00.000-07:00

http://crap.jinwicked.com/?comic=214

OMFG

2005-06-27T19:37:00.000-07:00

It's a freaking boob, people! A statue boob! 'Cause, you know, aluminum hooters are really the thing right now. Yaaaaargh! This country drives me crazy!

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/06/24/AR2005062401373_pf.html

2005-06-14T21:51:00.000-07:00

This is me on a good day.
Posted by Hello

Friendly Reminder

2005-06-10T13:12:00.000-07:00

Remember, I'm over at http://rulag.blogspot.com for the next 9 weeks.

"Support Russian producers!"
Posted by Hello

Hello Test

2005-06-10T13:09:00.000-07:00

OrneryBoy is a great comic.
Posted by Hello

Skills

2005-06-08T17:02:00.000-07:00

I can now field strip, clean and reassemble the M1 Garand from memory, thanks to the friendly folks down at Evan's Gunsmithing and Shooter's World.

Introducing...

2005-06-07T01:20:00.000-07:00

...my latest in bloggerie:

http://rulag.blogspot.com

For those of you who do not speak Russian, or who hate Babelfish, it may not be to your palate. But keep your eyes pealed for updates in English.

I'll be under oath to speak, write, think, breathe Russian while I'm off at language school, for which I leave Thursday. As such, Caesar will probably be on extended hiatus. Expect sporadic updates during the 9 week schooling period, and a groundswell revival after 'graduation.'

Today

2005-06-05T22:37:00.000-07:00

Slept till noon.

Went to range with Da and Grayson. Learned that all of the surplus ammo I bought from the store was steel-jacketed, which most ranges don't let you use. Had to purchase stupid expensive ammo they had. Didn't have 7.62x54R caliber for the Mosin-Nagant. Shot M1 Garand. Can hit a stationary target at 50 yards from sitting position. I'm rather proud of this. Grayson shoots quite well.

Put together new bookshelf. Shelved all comics and 50% of books.

Tried to clean rifle. Either I'm missing tools or the manual is retarded. Will have to bring Garand in to gunsmith tomorrow for cleaning and instruction.

Now have to take Russian grammar placement test.

Busy busy busy.

And so...

2005-06-04T13:44:00.000-07:00

In the esteemed opinion of Generalfieldmarschall Cheney, the insurgency is in it's "last throes." And by "last throes," he means that they should be finished by 2009, just in time for Bush to leave office. How coincedental.

Oh God... are they really going to be in power for that much longer?

But that's okay because...breathe...I'm not angry anymore...not angry at all...

This man knows his nerds full well...

2005-06-03T19:26:00.000-07:00

http://archive.gamespy.com/comics/nodwick/ffn/ffn024.htm

And from the hyperconservative corner...

2005-06-03T01:42:00.000-07:00

List of the Top Ten Most Harmful Books of the 19th and 20th Centuries: http://www.humaneventsonline.com/article.php?id=7591

Not surprisingly, I like a lot of these books.

In the news...

2005-06-01T00:51:00.000-07:00

Hunter S. Thompson's remains are to be shot out of a cannon mounted in a 150-foot tower to be paid for by Johnny Depp.

Hardcore.

Interregnum

2005-05-31T20:59:00.000-07:00

Back from San Francisco. Was fun.

On Friday night we visited the Mission district, a Spanish-speaking slum turned hipster hangout. Had dinner at a place called "Cafe Gratitude," a very nice place dedicated to wholesome organic vegetarian/vegan food and urging their customers to being happy with what they have while charging distinctly gourmet prices. All the items on the menu were called stuff like "I am Vivacious" or "I am Awesome." Then we went to a neat bar hangout called "Foreign Cinema" where they were showing Monty Python and the Holy Grail. San Francisco is probably a really fun place to be if all your friends are 21 and you know the area.

On Saturday, we went to Japantown. Had Japanese versions of food from other countries (curry and crepes). Had to get dragged out of several stores by Janna. (Not without making a few very silly purchases. I bought a Zeon Rick Dom Gundam model kit. Grayson bought a resin Cloud Strife figurine.)

Sunday was the drive home.

Yesterday, mostly looked after the little cousin who was visiting. Six years old.

Today was dropping off the cousin and picking up the guns. Huzzah!

Still have several forms to fill out, a test to take and things to purchase. Oh yeah, and a small 2-3 minute speech to write for this "Alumni Induction" gathering next week for Sage. They're having like three other alums speak, plus Wilkins. Once again, do I want to go, or just...not.

Serenity...

2005-05-27T03:07:00.000-07:00

Nathan Fillion (the actor who plays Cpt. Malcolm Reynolds) was at the screening. We shook his hand. We got his signature. He answered a few questions. He was very charming.

I dressed up as Badger. I got complimented several times on my very fine hat.

The movie probably won't connect to people who haven't seen the series, but for people who have...hot damn.

Oh, right, and River is made of chocolate.

What's this? Network detected?

2005-05-26T12:05:00.000-07:00

Marriott Courtyard in Modesto has wireless. Hot diggity.

Serenity tonight!

The hills driving up are pretty rough on the Prius. Only managed 38 MPG driving here.

Haven't been able to sleep very well past few days. Just hope it's because of the cold.

Serenity!

Countdown Begin

2005-05-25T00:45:00.000-07:00

6 days until G-Day. Unfortunately, the closest rifle range is about an hour away from home. Also, I only have a vague notion about how to field strip and clean a rifle. Let's hope the instructions make more sense when I have a rifle in front of me.

Been catching up on my guilty pleasures. Finally found the last two episodes of Gundam 0083 (the only decent Gundam series I've witnessed), and finally got a torrent of the last Full Metal Alchemist coming in. Stocked up on free Naruto manga, and the Naruto movie is also torrenting. Will have to interrupt those so I can bring my laptop with me on the road, but they can be resumed fairly easily.

Have to pack tomorrow for the trip to Northern California and Serenity! Logistics have not been coming easily, between delays and people dropping out. On the upside, we get to make some other people very happy.

The cold is making things very hazy. My mother, for whatever reason, is convinced I have mono (or something) because "I'm always sick." I believe this to be patently false, and feel that many of my friends could attest to my passable, if not especially hardy, constitution. But I've learned that there are more productive uses of one's time than arguing with la madre. Like digging ditches and then filling them back up again.

Promise of less inane details and more interesting material later.

A Day in the Life of Rodya Raymondovich

2005-05-23T19:45:00.000-07:00

Summer isn't a terribly good time for new and interesting things to post. At home, I can insulate myself even further from news of outside events and I haven't been up to anything particularly exciting the past few days. I feel like organizing has become a priority recently.

Grayson the Fabulous has just set up a network in the house so I can finally get a decent connection from my room. Huzzah for that. Unfortunately, Bittorrent doesn't seem to want to work anymore. Maybe I'll just try to reinstall BitTornado. Does anybody have suggestions for a better .torrent program?

8 days until G-Day.

I have to write a few things to say for the Sage alumni gathering. They have like 4 other alumni who are going to talk. I'm beginning to think perhaps I should find a reason to be elsewhere.

Not sure what exactly I'll be doing with the blog while I'm at Russian school. Technically speaking, writing updates in English would be breaking the language pledge. (Not supposed to speak, read or do goddamn anything in English.) Maybe I'll just start updating in my terrible Russian.

Jessica Thompson called today. Apparently she's managed to avoid getting eaten by savages, wild babboons, jungle marmots or die of malaria. Something about climbing a volcano.

Feeling a bit under the weather.

Road trip up to the north starts on Wednesday night. Thursday we swing through Davis and see Firefly. Friday and Saturday will be spent in San Francisco. Sunday is the return trip.

Today is a Good Day

2005-05-21T19:56:00.000-07:00

Hey all you peoples. I live at [++PURGED FROM RECORDS].

If you wanted to get to my house from, say Irvine, do the following: Call me.

Alternatively, go fuck yourself.
Then take a left onto Newport Avenue.
[++PURGED FROM RECORDS].

My cell # is XXX-939 9790. Call me if you got questions.

Also, here's a review of all of Samuel L. "Badass Motherfucker" Jackson's death scenes from his recent movies: http://www.ew.com/ew/report/0,6115,1060425_12218000_0_,00.html

Oh, and I just bought an M1 Garand and a Mosin-Nagant rifle. I get to pick them up on the 31st. HUZZAH!

California Here I Come...

2005-05-18T21:19:00.000-07:00

...right back where I started from.

Home sweet home for a 3 lovely weeks before it's back to the GULAG.

Oh Sweet Joy

2005-05-15T23:10:00.000-07:00

I just found out that the US Government has a program for selling off surplus M1 Garand rifles. This means that I can buy a real M1 Garand for about $600. I am giddy.

For those of you who might not quite understand how awesome this is, I would like to direct you here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Garand

God bless this gun-crazed wacko country of ours.

More details later.

Warehouse 23- Level 4

2005-05-15T16:53:00.000-07:00

You open one of the 997 boxes on this floor and find...

A 1930-vintage stock market ticker. Instead of the expected paper tape, the paper spool is wound with thinly-beaten gold foil. When connected to any phone line, it will start printing out stock market quotes like, "Roman Catholic Church down 23 souls...Mormon Church up 7 souls... Satanists offer stock split..."

Schrodinger's cat. It's dead.

A Warehouse 23 Cookbook. Between the recipes for danishes and doughnuts is a recipe for disaster.

A grainy faded black and white picture of what looks to be a man standing on a grassy knoll, aiming his rifle towards something in the distance. Upon closer inspection, the rifleman looks like Elvis.

A heavy metal typewriter. It has only 16 keys, with the letters a, i, o, u, e, h, k, l, m, n, p and w. A small brass plaque reads: Royal Manufacturing Company, Hanamaulu. Made in United Kingdom of Hawaii.

A burned-out light-bulb. If screwed into a fixture, it sucks all light out of the area.

Complete blueprints for a Fnord Model T.

The Dr. Seuss edition of the Necronomicon. "From there to here, From here to there, Cthulhu will be Everywhere." The illustrations are chilling.

A large and detailed map of Oregon in the 1950s. Several locations deep in the forest are marked with red circles. All except one of these have a checkmark. If that location is ever visited, the overgrown ruins of a defensive position, rusty barbed wire, shot-up military ordnance and the hastily buried remains of about 50 Japanese soldiers will be found.

A recipe book. The ingredient "long pig" is frequently called for.

M17A Assault Piano.

Solomon Amendment and the Middlebury Community

2005-05-13T07:58:00.000-07:00

So, a while back a Marine Corps recruiter was invited to come to campus to recruit. Now, since the armed forces discriminate against gays, this caused quite a fuss with the Middlebury queer community. I was stupid enough to sign up for the Ally (the gay-straight alliance group) mailing list, which means that everytime somebody wants to hold a protest, or have a discussion, I have to hear about it in five seperate e-mails from at least two or three gay professors, and their student organization counterparts. The overall effect has been for me to become thoroughly fed up with the whole cause, at least here on campus.

In any case, Middlebury will allow an employer to recruit on campus given one of two conditions: A) they sign a non-discrimination form saying that agree they abide by Midd's standards, or B) they hold an information session explaining why they can't sign that agreement. I'm sure it's fair to say that Capt. Doucette probably didn't give a hoot about what the 50+ angry queers at the information session thought about the Marine Corps recruiting policy, and this only pissed them off even more. All that and only about 6 people showed up to the actual recruiting session.

The upshot of all this is that there was a big movement for the school to change it's policy on recruiters, on the grounds of our "ideals," "moral standards" and "commitment to diversity." The President, who has the last word on these things, thought otherwise. In a campus-wide e-mail, he told everyone as such. There's been such a clamor, however, that he's felt the need to send out a second one. Here's a portion below:

"I write to inform the community that, after extended consideration of the arguments offered at the February faculty meeting, at the Community Council’s open forum, at an SGA meeting, after deliberation with colleagues in the administration, with college presidents at other liberal arts colleges, and discussion with the Board of Trustees this past weekend, I have decided that the College’s protocols on employer recruiting on campus will remain as they are for the time being.

I recognize the strong arguments for changing our existing protocols in order to deny the use of campus resources to employers who do not follow the College’s non-discrimination policy. However, such changes in protocol are incompatible with federal law, which requires that colleges and universities that receive grants from a number of federal agencies provide military recruiters with access to their campuses "in a manner that is at least equal in quality and scope" to the access provided other employers."

What's that? We're doing it for the money? No, surely not! Call me a cynic, but I was pretty certain this is what the decision boiled down to in the first place. The lesson to be learned? Build a big fat gay rights fund and start doling out the cash, then you'll get your way. In the meantime, all this morals and standards bullshit gets hung up like a coat in the closet, ready to come out when it's time to look good to all the liberal-bourgeois upper-middle-class parents and their starry-eyed children who might want to come here.

But he has to try and make it look good somehow, doesn't he? So here comes the doublespeak:

"I believe that preventing military organizations from using campus resources and facilities when they recruit works against our mission as an educational institution. I also believe Middlebury’s non-discrimination policy is unquestionably the right policy. Allowing an organization that does not adhere to that policy to come here only if they agree to engage in dialogue and debate helps to dramatize the difference between the policies of that organization and the higher standards we set for ourselves.

The opportunity for engagement, discussion, and dialogue, so central to the experience of a liberal arts education, is precisely why our liberal arts peer institutions, all of which share Middlebury’s commitment to opposing all those forms of discrimination covered in our campus policy statements, allow the military to recruit on their campuses, some of them only after a public meeting to explain why they recruit as they do, but others without such a required meeting." - Ron Liebowitz

Well... if that's the case, then how about we invite the local Klan over for a big barbecue and a friendly talk? I bet everyone would love to get in on that dialogue. Real contribution to the liberal arts experience. Give me a fuckin' break.

A Disappearing Blog?

2005-05-12T09:38:00.000-07:00

It's vanished!

Just kidding. For some reason I couldn't pull up the blog when I tried the first few times.

In any case, I would encourage all of you to check out Freakonomics, a new book that is living proof that economics can be interesting, possibly even badass.

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/006073132X/qid=1115916242/sr=8-1/ref=pd_csp_1/103-3782427-0555058?v=glance&s=books&n=507846

I haven't read it yet, but I remember reading a NY Times Magazine article about these jokers a few years back.

Thunderdome

2005-05-11T20:04:00.000-07:00

Raise your hand if you'd rather try to best your professor in hand to hand combat than take your next final.

.... That's what I thought.

In other news, the party going to see Serenity on May 26th will consist of:
Grayson, Janna, Betts, Samantha, Greg Dean (of Real Life Comics), Liz Dean (his wife), and myself.

I'm pysched. After the show, Gray, Janna, Betts and I will probably spend the weekend in San Francisco.

Plus we're all going to cosplay. Grayson will go, naturally, as Cpt. Mal Reynolds. Janna will go as River Tam. Betts will go as Simon Tam. Samantha will fill the role of Kaylee. I'll be going as the scruffy and disreputable Badger. We have not established whether or not the Deans will be joining us in our escapades, but I bet they'd make a great Wash and Zoe duo.

Can't stop the signal!

Gin and the Devil

2005-05-11T11:04:00.000-07:00

This one speaks for itself: http://www.ginandthedevil.com/archive/05262004.html

Genius!: http://www.ginandthedevil.com/archive/06232004.html

The other reason I'm not big on philosophy: http://www.ginandthedevil.com/archive/07102004.html

This is me and K80 in three years: http://www.ginandthedevil.com/archive/11132004.html

Old Records

2005-05-10T10:45:00.000-07:00

I was digging through my old My Documents folder, rearranging my desktop and such, when I stumbled onto a raft of drafts and such from my El170 Creative Writing class of second semester Freshman year. I read over a bunch of it, and most of it's pretty rubbish, but there's a few I still like. Here's a poem I wrote last year:

Ryan Cohen
List List List – Revised #1

Mr. Foott
Mr. Heinrich Wilhelm Foott
Of 32nd Babbage Row, Apartment A
Once stayed awake for 30 hours straight.
He didn’t particularly have anything to do.
Or anywhere to go.
In fact, it was probably because of this aimlessness
that he stayed awake.
And then after a while it became a test,
a competition with himself, you see.
So he devised activities to keep himself awake.
He counted all the canned goods in his closet.
(19)
And then decided to organize them,
wipe them with a damp rag,
and stack them in his larder shelf in neat rows
by type
and expiration date.
First, he began with the tuna: 10
Followed by the bully beef*: 2
*Like Spam, but presumably once made of cow
(one month expired, by the by)
Canned corn: 3
Chicken broth: 2
Pickled beets: 3

After that, he organized his record collection
in reverse alphabetical order.
Exactly 36 1/3 hi-fi records for his lo-fi stereo.
The one-third came from a spat with his former girlfriend,
only recently former.
She had never been a fan of the Who.
He had always regarded this
as a significant character flaw.
While contemplating this partial piece,
he decided to write a list of her character flaws.

It began in big red letters at the top with:
DOESN’T LIKE THE WHO

Followed by items such as:
Doesn’t like cats
Eats bully beef
Moves lips while reading
Thinks cricket is dull and stupid
Frigid in that way.

And concluded with:
An irredeemable shrew
(italics, bold and underlined)

Feeling empowered,
He then taught himself to dance the fox trot,
Read the first seven pages of Crime and Punishment,
(And then put it down after remembering
he didn’t like Dostoevsky)
Scribbled a list of people he should write to.
Baked a loaf of bread.
Had two breakfasts (one at four and one at seven)
and one brunch (at nine).
Watched the sunrise while listening to Wagner.
Did a crossword puzzle.

He eventually fell asleep in the doorway at 10 am.
He slept there until 4 pm, when he was awakened
by a stack of envelopes
Shoved through the little mail slot onto his face.

GRAND THEFT FOOBLY

2005-05-10T08:31:00.000-07:00

All hail Cory You!

http://www.pockybot.com/gallery/gtfbox.jpg

Firefly! W00t!

2005-05-09T22:25:00.000-07:00

Grayson the Fabulous has gotten ahold of 8 tickets to go see a preview screening of Serenity in Sacramento on May 26th. I'm psyched, especially since I'll be in Russia when the movie comes out in general release. -dances-

HAPPY VICTORY DAY!

2005-05-09T11:29:00.000-07:00

In Russia, today they celebrate День Победы; the capture of Berlin and the victory of the Soviet Union over the Nazi Third Reich, at the cost of the lives of 23 million Soviet citizens.

If you feel so inclined, you can listen to songs and broadcasts in honor of Victory Day on the web. http://80.90.1.26:8000/

Дорогия Россия, паздравлаю вас!

Spielpalast Revisited

2005-05-08T23:08:00.000-07:00

This past Saturday I went to see the Spielpalast again. Some of the original folks came and Professor James West went to see it also. At intermission I asked him if it was anything like what cabaret used to be like back in Weimar. He said the only thing missing was the sex. This gave me pause for a moment because I thought it was pretty scandalous. Girls in stockings and brassieres, spankings, innuendo, etc. etc. Then I remembered that cabarets, back in the day, often featured sex on the stage, in any which way you'd want to see it.

Otherwise, the show was still pretty cool but not quite as good as when I saw it last week. Really small venue, no microphone rig, moribund audience, a few glitches during the show. But hey, we got to sit this time. That was nice. I hope the show continues to be produced. I'd be really excited to see what they do with it.

In other news, Finals week has arrived. The long weekend has been enjoyable. I'll be spending the next fortnight or so studying, writing and organizing my plans and things for the transition to summer and abroad.

The Zombie Movie Drinking Game

2005-05-08T11:09:00.000-07:00

Jin: "Do you have to make a drinking game out of everything?"
Me: "Only the good things."

Drink whenever:
1) A zombie gets shot in the head.
2) A zombie is lit on fire.
3) Somebody gets attacked by a zombie child.
4) A zombie is dispatched with a power tool. This includes vehicles.
5) A living person threatens another living person with a weapon.

If any two of these happen simultaneously, i.e. a zombie child is shot in the head or a flaming zombie is dispatched with a power tool, finish the rest of your drink.

In the News...

2005-05-04T10:44:00.000-07:00

Hobby's Deli owners send two tons of dried salami to 42nd Infantry in Tikrit, with eventual goal of shipping twenty-three tons, enough for entire division.

More people killed by suicide attacks in Iraq, Afghanistan. 67 today.

The fickle, yet somehow depressingly predictable, American public now shows growing discontent with the Iraq "war."

Congress approved another $82 billion for US military operations, including dramatically increased death benefits and life insurance for servicemen.

American law continues to provide morbid amusement, much in the same way that carnivals do.
Bush continues to push his Social Security agenda. I have the growing suspicion that it may actually be a step towards dismantling the system altogether.

Korea says they have the bomb and are planning to test it. Iran is pushing for rights to a nuclear program.

Wal-Mart, now the nation's largest company, is accused of not providing enough pay or benefits to employees. Wal-Mart says it is. Both sides toss around isolated economic figures. Nobody addresses the issue of whether or not it's reasonable to expect somebody to be able to earn a living wage for 40 hours of unskilled labor a week.

Get Down with the Sickness

2005-05-02T15:42:00.000-07:00

This June, Romero's sequel to his original trilogy of zombie movies (Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead and Day of the Dead) will be released: Land of the Dead.

We shall now proceed to our list of the top five best zombies movies evar. Note that they are listed in chronological order as they are all equally awesome and ridiculous.

"When there is no more room in Hell, the dead will walk the earth."

1. Night of the Living Dead (1968)
The film that started it all. Romero's first. While lacking many of the components which make up the "quintessential" zombie movie formula, it has a certain black and white classic charm to it. It does a good job of playing up the psychological elements in a way that poorly acted 60s movies can. Solid. The zombies move slow and are afraid of fire. Anybody who dies on that night becomes a zombie, essentially the "no more room in hell" theory. Radiation from space probe posited as possible reason. Headshots or decapitation are the only effective means of killing them. The outbreak never reaches apocalyptic levels. TPK.

2. Dawn of the Dead (1978 original)
A kick up on the zombawesomeness scale in terms of budgeting and special effects. This movie really should be called "Crazy Zombie Mall Adventure." The movie as a whole isn't very tightly put together. The script is disjointed and oftentimes nonsensical, but still gave the genre many of its characteristic scenes. In keeping with Night, the zombies are terribly slow and stupid, and afraid of fire. Headshots required. While the "no more room in hell" line is spoken in this movie, it also introduces a hint that perhaps zombie bites are the means of the spreading the infection. Outbreak reaches apocalyptic levels, but there is evidence of pockets of resistance that last for as many as several months, and nomadic armies that hold out for even longer. Unconfirmed TPK.

3. 28 Days Later (2002)
An excellent zombie film which gave the genre a good twist. The "zombies" are actually living people who have been infected with the "rage" virus which causes them to turn into mindless ravening monsters. Virus is transmitted via blood and saliva. They are frightening and very, very fast, but ultimately human. High production value, good script. In its own way, the movie can actually be treated as serious horror cinema. Also, the film is set in England which, because of British weapons laws, means that the protagonists must defend themselves without firearms. Outbreak reaches limited apocalyptic level.

4. Dawn of the Dead (2004)
A remake of the original 1978 Dawn of the Dead. Should be similarly titled "Crazy Zombie Mall Adventure II." Zombies are dumb but fast and spread through blood and bites. High production values and a good script. The most gonzo of all the movies, without being entirely comedic. Definitely plays up to the zombie fan audience. Headshots aplenty. Features cameos by the main characters from the original. Outbreak quickly reaches apocalyptic levels. TPK.

5. Shaun of the Dead (2004)
A romantic comedy with zombies. Set in England. 'nuff said.

Scenes and elements which tend to characterize zombie films.

1. The "first" scene- wherein the audience is introduced to the spine-tingling (or gut-tickling) source of the outbreak. Only Night and 28 Days actually have these.
2. While in most generic horror films the token black character is one of the first to die, the opposite holds true for zombie films. Nearly every zombie film (i.e. 4 out of the 5 listed) has a black main character who survives [the majority of the film]. In fact, it usually works like this: the main character is white, but the hero is black.
3. Headshots.
4. Zombie children.
5. Zombies run over by cars.
6. Zombies on fire.
7. Chainsaws.
8. The "shopping spree" scene- wherein the protagonists, after having survived the initial onslaught of the undead, are free to frolic in the ruins of civilization.
9. At least one zombie killed with a crowbar, cricket bat, machete, screwdriver, poker, or similar tool.
10. The protagonist who gets bitten, usually doing something heroic, and becomes zombified.
11. Nobody ever actually calls them zombies. It's always "those things," or "those monsters."
To quote from Shaun of the Dead:
"Don't say that!"
"What?"
"The Zed word."
"Why?"
"Because it's ridiculous!"
12. Gruesome dismemberment- wherein some poor bastard has their entrails feasted on by a ravening mob of the living dead.

Recommended reading- The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead, by Max Brooks. Organize before they rise!
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1400049628/103-3782427-0555058?v=glance

Statistically Significant

2005-05-01T16:21:00.000-07:00

Approximately 10,000 American servicemen have been discharged from the Armed Forces since 1993 because of the regulations forbidding homosexual conduct.

SPIELPALAST

2005-05-01T10:58:00.000-07:00

"Wilkommen to ze Spielpalast! Vere reality iz strictly controlled und fantasy has been e-radicated!"

Holy crap. Last night I went to see the Spielpalast Cabaret. Singing, dancing, girls in their underpants, acrobatics, stage magic, etc. It's so postmodern it hurts. I'm thinking I might have to go see it again, and take Professor West with me.

http://www.spielpalastcabaret.com/

So good!

Weapon of Choice

2005-04-29T22:49:00.000-07:00

At parties, I like to appoint myself bartender. I enjoy making people drinks. It's like a sort of modern alchemy. It's part ritual, part chemistry, a little voodoo, a little science. Plus there are all sorts of wonderful names for drinks out there. In any case, here is a list of what I would consider to be optimal bar stock configuration for various types of parties.

The Middlebury Painter Standard [default]:
Vodka AND/OR Rum
Southern Comfort
Orange Juice, Punch AND/OR Cider
Otter Creek Beer
Coke
Mike's Hard Lemonade OR Smirnoff Ice

The Spaniard:
Whiskey
Wine (cheap)
Beer (Cruzcampo or similar)
Sprite
Lemon Fanta

The St. Patrick's Day:
Ale
Guinness
Bailey's Irish Cream
Jameson Irish Whiskey

The California:
Corona
Tequila
Lime
Salt

The Lebowski:
Kahlua
Vodka
Milk

The Coconut Quad, AKA the Pirate Perfect:
Rum, and lots of it
Pina Colada mix
Coke
Coconut
Jolly Roger
Anything on hand

I would be delicious

2005-04-28T20:47:00.000-07:00

I am crumbly and good with jam.

Also, wtf is this all about?
http://www.midrealm.org/kith/kith/bkstone2005/blackstone2005_bridgecharge.mov

Bend Over You Will, Yes

2005-04-27T19:12:00.000-07:00

So, just when I thought the rape of Star Wars was nearing its gruesome finale, Lucas has announced that, in fact, it has only begun.

Not one, but two, television series are in the works. Television.

On one hand, I kind of have to wonder why the fuck it took him so long.

As a rule, television shows are either unendurable crap, or the greatest thing since the Moon. It's also distinctly possible that a given show will transmute itself from one to the other, usually from good to bad, over the course of its lifespan.

If they have somebody other than Wangmaster Lucas writing or directing this shit, then it might turn out to be halfway decent. Of course, I can only imagine that it will be difficult to create a quality show based on a franchise which has already jumped the shark.

Personally, I think I'll stick with Firefly.

You'll get yours

2005-04-27T19:04:00.000-07:00

In Russia they have an expression for getting shot: "Nine grams."

As in, "He got nine grams in the back of the head," or "Nine grams for every Jew."

I had always thought that this was just an idiomatic expression. Turns out that a 9mm bullet, a common pistol caliber, does actually weigh roughly nine grams.

Evilest of Nines

2005-04-27T12:31:00.000-07:00

The Prime Directive of the Fooblestein Organization demands that you watch this!

http://evilnine.preloaded.com/

SQUEEEEEEEEEE

2005-04-26T18:38:00.000-07:00

-Happy Firefly dance-

http://www.apple.com/trailers/universal/serenity/

-Glee!-

Can I be horrified now?

2005-04-26T11:38:00.000-07:00

Now, while I dearly love my cousin Victoria, there are some days when I wonder what sort of bizarrely typical creature is being nursed out there in the rich suburban hinterlands of upstate New York. Imagine my shock and dismay when I check on her Xanga and find the following as a title:

It's Not Just a Purse...It's PRADA

With a delightful accompanying superimposed image of a bright pink Prada purse that haunts your screen as you scroll up and down the blog. -shudder- I can only hope there's been some misunderstanding. Granted, she is 14 years old but still. The Top 40 is all the music she knows. She filled out a little questionnaire thing, like the one that you get in your e-mail from those friends whom you don't even necessarily like that much, but they feel compelled to share their preference between chocolate and vanilla with you anyway, along with 200 questions of little to no importance. Among the questions and answers were:

"am annoyed by:: a shit load of things.. mostly by paris hilton wannabees..haha brooke"

Uh.... D_D;

"will always:: be a jap "

A jap!? She's not even Jewish! I mean, just because you have a nanny, live in the suburbs, shop for designer clothes, and have two parents that work in finance...ah who the hell am I kidding? She goes by the name Vicky. Her name is Victoria! She says stuff like "skewl" and doesn't capitalize or punctuate.

Is this a phase? Does it count as a phase if it's been going on for the past 8 years? Should I even be concerned?

I just hope that she turns out to be one of those remarkably intelligent and capable young ladies who is as versed in intellectual life as she is modern fashion. -crosses fingers-

Нельзя умереть!

2005-04-25T19:40:00.000-07:00

Ленин жил!
Ленин живет!
Ленин будет жить!

A Smidgen for a Pidgeon

2005-04-25T17:14:00.000-07:00

Some of the best video game ideas that will never see the light of day:

1) American McGee's Oz
As a sort of brother project to American McGee's Alice, one of the best games ever, this one was actually in production and then got yanked in lieu of some lame robot-themed piece of shit.

2) Dance Dance Revolution of the Proletariat
Step, hop and jump to the greatest revolutionary hits such as the Internationale and Hasta Siempre Comandate! Score points and earn a ration card grade, but don't slip up, or you'll be accused of being a wrecker, a spy or even a bourgeois counter-revolutionary!

3) Gauntlet Theft Auto
"I'll shoot the Colombians and you swoop in and steal the coke, okay?"
"Warrior needs sex badly!"
"Wizard shot the prostitute!"

ACHTUNG!

2005-04-24T15:56:00.000-07:00

It is my darling dearest Kathryn's birthday today. You are all required to visit her blog http://zhukora.blogspot.com and wish her a happy birthday on the tagboard. All who fail to do so will be shot and thrown into the river. That is all.

Saturday of Awesome

2005-04-23T10:20:00.000-07:00

Some more inane details of my life for your amusement and edification. Oorah!

10 AM Wake up to Clear Channel Radio Station Clone 92.9
10:15 Shower.
10:30 Go downstairs to the Gamut Room (which I previously reserved for this purpose through the Wonnacott Commons office) with Andrew and Evan and begin cooking breakfast for my friends.
10:55 Friends start showing up. 15 out of 17 expected arrive.
11-12:30 Everybody has deliciously prepared breakfast of eggs (sunny side up and scrambled), ham, grilled tomato, pancakes, English toasting bread and jam and nutella, with orange juice and cider for drinking. I am loved and praised by all.
12:30-1 Tidy up. Leave Gamut Room kitchen cleaner than we left it.
2:00 Go see student production Culture Shock in the Hepburn Zoo.

Original Food Purchases:
3 dozen eggs, 5 lbs flour, 3 loaves English toasting bread, 1 dozen bananas, Three varieties of jam (raspberry, currant, marmalade), Box o' Cheerios, Gallon 2% milk, 30 slices, 8 tomatoes, maple syrup
Cost: $70

Remaining:
4 lbs flour, 1 loaf bread, 1/2 dozen bananas, Jam, Cheerios, 1/2 gallon milk, 20 slices ham, 5 tomatoes, maple syrup
Moneys collected so far: $40

For later: Go see Sin City in Burlington with Evan, Jin and Devon. Drinking and video games with Allen and Co.

Friday Routine

2005-04-22T16:47:00.000-07:00

Errand into town to retrieve dry cleaning and purchase supplies for the next fortnight of travel in the academic wilderness: Check
Play Dawn of War until eyes bleed: Check
Find occular coagulant: Check
Check on webcomics with late Friday updates: Check
Despair over the decadence of my bourgeois life: Check
Get over it: Check
Futz around until Dorks and Dragons game at 2100: Check

The following message is brought to you by letter K:
http://img.penny-arcade.com/2002/20020522l.gif

Smile like you mean it

2005-04-21T20:47:00.000-07:00

When you feel like your daily dose of cute tits and blue-footed boobies, head on over to www.indietits.com, the latest hilarity extravaganza by the same sexy man who brought us Questionable Content. The best part is that I'm not being obscene at all.

Capitalist Whore

2005-04-20T17:21:00.000-07:00

-Ahem- I would like to take this opportunity to advertise as a cuddle companion. I am offering my services as a snuggle buddy for the very reasonable sum of $10/hour. Backrubs and unchaste cuddling extra. Will do house calls. Barter and trade in-kind gladly accepted. References available by request. To make an appointment, e-mail me at rcohen@middlebury.edu or call (949) 939 9790. Ask about our Frequent Snuggler discount rates.

On Dudes

2005-04-20T17:18:00.000-07:00

[K.Morrow]: why are guys weird, ryan
wire CAT blue: Because we've been genetically coded to hit things and hide from stuff that hits harder than we do. The whole "emotions" thing is a relatively new development in our evolution.

Skirt Week and Witching News

2005-04-20T16:25:00.000-07:00

I'm sure that everyone here has heard me say this several times already, but I go to a school with a lot of good looking girls. There are some on campus who might disagree with me, but they're idiots. Damnation and fortescue. The weather took a turn for a better the past few days, with delightfully warm days and very moderate nights. The skirts have been out in full force. It almost feels like summer. Of course, a rainstorm hit today but that's alright, I felt like napping anyway. I'm coming down with something mild. Hopefully it will pass soon.

In other news, I've recently picked up a book called The Witches' Bible, a surprisingly thoughtful and coherent guide to neopaganism and modern witchcraft. I spotted it sitting on the shelves of the "new books" section and checked it out on a lark. I usually try to check out something from the library on a topic that's interesting. This usually meets with mixed results. Half the time it's worthwhile, and the other half of the time the books sit on my dresser collecting dust for a month before the library e-mails about them being overdue. It's a good thing the federal government never gets a hold of Midd's library records, otherwise I'd probably be under investigation for a lot of books I never ended up reading anyway.